My life has been a whirlwind of activity recently and I’ve been told that with our new arrival, life will never be the same again. It’s certainly looking like that advice may be true, but it has unquestionably been a change of the best kind. Both me and my husband have embraced this unpredictable rollercoaster that we’re on wholeheartedly, but it’s definitely not been easy!
This month we moved house just a few days after our daughter turned 6 months old. Taking some time to consider how much things have changed recently has forced me to reflect even further on my life to date and although I've been at the same company for some years (thanks LinkedIn for those reminders!), I’ve also come to realise this isn’t the first time my life has changed in a major way. It’s encouraged me to spot some patterns in how I adapt when change comes my way.
I’ve moved around quite a lot. I’ve lived abroad in the past while I was studying languages, and I’ve also moved between Wales, Birmingham and Nottingham before living in Ashby de la Zouch. Each move came with its own set of challenges, whether it be apartment hunting in a foreign language and being hung up on time and time again, or learning the basics of handling bills and dodgy landlords. Each time the chaos and unknown has been worked out and maybe because of that, the thought of change certainly doesn’t instil any fear in me. As a result, I feel relatively well equipped to deal with change. Even so, I had to admit to being a bit daunted by the amount of change happening in my life simultaneously over the past 12 months!
I guess I should also acknowledge that the changes in my life right now take me in a direction I’m excited about going in, which obviously makes change easier. But does that mean I’ve managed to keep a cool head throughout the changes to date? Have I managed to escape without any self doubt and pessimism? Definitely not!
Life likes to throw curveballs at you and even the most positive and desired thing in the world can become a challenge and require some major resilience to be able to handle and turn around your perspective.
I’m certainly no expert, but here are my top 5 tips that I believe have helped me in my journey so far…
1. Focus on what you can control
I’ve been told in the past to think about the ‘circle of influence’ you can have, in particular from a caring mentor I had early on in my career. At the time, the concept was shared with me to help me work out where to focus my efforts and ultimately have the biggest impact in my work life. As I’ve grown in both my career and my personal life, the underlying principle behind that has continued to be a huge help in more than just a ‘task management’ setting. Why waste effort on something you cannot change?
2. Consider best and worst case scenarios
When there’s uncertainty it’s easy for those negative thoughts to creep in and make you think about all the ways something may go wrong. When that starts happening, I've found it helpful to take it to an extreme... Really, what’s the worst that could happen? If the worst did happen, then what? Knowing how you’d respond if things went completely wrong helps to be prepared, even if it never comes to fruition and those contingency plans are never needed.
Equally as important, if not more so, is asking the question what’s the best that could happen? Realising that things could go brilliantly, even better than expected, is critical in giving a positive outcome the best opportunity to become a reality.
3. Make the best of the situation
Inevitably things don’t always go to plan. Maybe the worst case scenario has actually come true (or worse, has been surpassed!) and now you need to find the courage to keep your spirits up.
In those scenarios I really do think it’s important to remind yourself of what you thought of the worst case scenario would be before it happened, and work out a plan of how you can adapt and find a new way through it. Remember, if nothing else you’ll learn from the experience before an other change comes along.
4. Understand what’s not changing
Sometimes it’s useful to remind yourself of what’s constant in your life, even in times of major change and turmoil there will be some things that you may not notice but that remain consistent. Whether it’s a family member, your morning routine or your meal choices on a Friday night, those consistent people, moments and choices in your life can provide some stability and reassurance during the turbulence. Don’t take them for granted.
5. Just roll with it!
As you’ve probably noticed by now, there’s an underlying theme around control, but ultimately there’s always a limit on what we can control, be prepared for and predict. If the last few years have taught us all nothing else, I’m sure we’ve all come to accept we can be completely ‘side-swiped’ by something! So my last tip is, sometimes, just roll with it. You’ll adapt in the end - you’ll have no choice but to sink or swim!
Things are always a phase and circumstances will eventually change, so move on and give your self the best change of being able to take advantage of the next change when it comes.
If you like these, or have any tips for adapting to change, please do let me know. I'd love to hear your thoughts and feedback.
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